funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

yellingapple:

kingdom-of-homosexuality:

timelady-of-221b:

THERe ARE CHILDREN ON HERE

This is in no way ok

i am trying to have healthy lifestyle YOU ARE NOT HELPING

(Source: maleficent-z)

liliumgrey:

This is beautiful.

(Source: pleatedjeans)

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

warriorchicken:

I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?image

WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA

image

Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..

image

I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC

image

  BAM!

THIS IS TO MUCH POWER FOR ONE PERSON TO HAVE

samoubica:

doncheftw:

grizz-z:

brownglucose:

iverbz:

MY NIGGA MOVED.

Children have zero sense of fear

He just ran a 4.3 sec 40

NYOOM

NOTHING OUTMATCHES DAD-REFLEXES

(Source: 4GIFs.com)

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK


YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

NO GOD PLEASE DONT LET THIS BE THE POST THAT MAKES ME TUMBLR FAMOUS

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there

inxthexmeantime:

I highly recommend this place if you enjoy eating out.

nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

Anonymous asked:
How do dick pics make u feel?

ladyironlungs:

the-inspired-lesbian:

This is the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen omfg.

shefadestoblack:

Movie Musicals → Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)