Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane’s 2009 Commencement Speech.

(Source: everybodystandsandkeepscore)

schrodingers-tribble:

notyour-sidekick:

deerpong:

there’s something very satisfying about buying office supplies but I’m not quite sure how to explain that feeling

the illusion of productivity

that’s it that’s the feeling

perlockholmes:

riplogic:

*loses drink in scotland* where did my Glasgow.

Oh my god

aduhm:

gloriousharhar:

augustus u bitch

isn’t he supposed to fall in love with her? TFIOS movie is SO different from the book…

dat-soldier:

officialunitedstates:

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

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stephaniealive:

alecats:

books are just dead tattoed trees

That’s metal as fuck

(Source: enerds)

my sarcasm is at it’s best when I hear a stupid question

(Source: wificrisis)

aperriently-so:

Favorite Dan Howell Quotes:

  • Because I was the human fucking embodiment of Winne the Pooh, I chose not to say anything
  • I was waiting for Satan’s giant cock to erupt from the ground and fuck me up the ass
  • Did I  buy a fucking radioactive hamster?!
  • I was unintentionally Jesus, that’s what I’m saying here
  • So in conclusion, I would rather be anally sodomized by a cactus than go through US Airways again
  • My esophagus must literally be the size of a squirrel anus

korra:

i would describe myself as a “stay-at-home dragon”